A Message to Dads everywhere

So the other day I turned 42. I decided that I needed to put more effort into blogging, some might say I am a little late to the party. I say better late than never. There is so many thoughts bouncing around in my head these days. Someone suggested to me that it was great therapy to write. Get your thoughts out of your head and into something more concrete. A blog gives you that power.

Each day that goes by I am more and more concerned with my daughters life. I want to see her grow up, and not face the same difficulties I went through. Since my child currently lives with her mother in North Carolina, it is extremely difficult to supervise, or even be a major part of her life. Never mind the fact that her mother is complete waste of human space. I’ll get to that in a another post.I became a father when my beautiful baby girl was born on March 14, 1994. That is a day I will never forget. I was there in the delivery room, holding her mothers hand, encouraging her to push. I remember vividly watching her head crown, her shoulders breach, then she shot out like a torpedo. Completely dousing the doctor with fluids and forcing her to catch her by the ankle before she landed on the floor. I can remember my eyes & mouth being wide open, my jaw just inches from the floor.

That day my life changed for good. Now I have someone completely & totally dependent on me! I had already secured a decent job, that paid fairly well.

We were living in my mom’s house making the $380 a month mortgage with no problems at all. Becky had 2 children Nick & Jessica (ages 8 and 2) from a previous marriage. So when she went back to work at nights I had 3 kids from 4 pm till 4 am. Maybe that’s why our marriage did not last 2 years.

Becky and I worked completely opposite shifts, I worked from 8:00 am to 5:00pm, when i got home she was already at work. We had a sitter that came over when Becky left for work at 3:30 until I pulled in at 5:30 or so. I suppose that did not help our relationship much. That and the fact she started coming to bed smelling pretty bad. I actually had to ask her to take a shower, as she smelled like a jock strap. That’s definately a contributor to the end of our marriage. I mean if you can’t take care of yourself how are you going to care for someone else.

I was a damn good dad to her children. Taking the oldest to scouts, helping him with his homework, tossing the ball. Becky on the other hand was not a “good” mom. While I don’t doubt that she loves her children. She was missing the mark on way too many areas. Again another post. It’s a shame because of the divorce and living separate lives, my daughter has suffered. Is it my fault? Would things be as they are now, had I stayed? I can’t even begin to think what kind of life I would have had with that woman. It pains me to hear my daughter tell me stories about her mother’s behavior.

For all the Dad’s out there, the real dad’s that actually care about their children. Take some advice from me, if there is any possible way to save your relationship from Divorce, DO IT. If you are thinking about leaving, stop for a minute. Think about why you want to leave. No one wants to go through the personal hell I have experienced with my ex, and the constant abuse my child has suffered from because of that woman.

However don’t be miserable for the children’ s sake as that is not good for them either. Better to have 1 happy parent, that actually cares about them than constantly fighting parents. Keep you children close to you, do everything in your power to see that they are well provided for. Get help from family, friends, religion, whatever it takes their lives are way more important than your own.